As someone who is just getting into the swing of blogging, I sometimes find myself lost in the myriad of possible topics. During these times, the awareness theme of the week seems to offer the most inspiration. As a global community, we appear to have awareness and celebratory days for almost everything 365 days a year. So, as National Worklife Week, which is celebrated in some countries between 10th and 15th October, draws to a close, I am penning a few thoughts on the crucial topic of work and life.
For a long time, I thought and felt that work-life imbalance was purely a time management issue but in reality, even people with time don’t feel the balance that they so deeply desire. It is easy to blame lack of work-life balance on time alone because we often surrender time to things we cannot control, like work commitments and attending to the need of others.
Is the goal work-life balance? Or is it work-life alignment? Isn’t work (what we do to earn a living) such an integral part of life? Isn’t it also about managing energy and priorities rather than just managing time? Having gone part-time six months ago, it may be reasonable for others to expect that my work-life alignment is much better now than when I was working full-time. That is sadly far from reality. My kids will say that it is worse than before and I am inclined to agree. As I reminisced on what led to this situation, I acknowledge that I chose to fill the hours gained with more work and more learning to develop my coaching career. My housekeeper called out yesterday, “Akka, you are looking more tired now than when you were working full time.”. I smiled as I agreed and explained the choices I made. She rightly said, “You could have waited until the kids were a little older and self-sufficient”. She has a point.
I had my reasons and I own the decisions and choices that led to the alignment that I have now. Can it be better? Of course. As I reflect on where my time, energy and focus go every day, I know some realignment is needed and I can only achieve this through small changes in the way I think “mindset shifts”. Some of the questions I ask myself:
1) How can my personal and professional lives coexist peacefully? – I have taken steps to do so, especially with my decision to go part-time. However, a few more adjustments to my priorities are necessary to focus on my children and my health. To consistently prioritize the right things, I need to have absolute clarity of my purpose and regularly check-on on what is truly important to me. In the words of Stephen Covey:
“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically, to say “no” to other things.”
2) How can I live my dreams today? – By starting my coaching career now on a part-time basis, I did not wait for retirement to act. That having said, there are many other dreams like my yearning to travel more that I do not need to be put off for the perfect moment. A meaningful quote by Barbara Sher comes to mind:
“As soon as you start to pursue your dream, you life wakes up and everything has meaning”
3) What is my relationship with money? – After nearly 25 years of corporate life, have I missed the point? Where is my obsession for financial security coming from? How long and how hard does one really need to work? What does it mean to be financially free? So many questions. It’s time to reassess. Chris Brogan aptly quotes:
“The goal isn’t more money. The goal is living life on your terms.”
4) How do I value time? – I recently read that how we think about time and how we value it correlates with our happiness and that valuing time means spending it deliberately, intentionally, purposefully. Time is the only resource that mankind is credited with every morning and once spent, cannot be regenerated. Am I spending time consciously? During a recent coaching conversation, I became aware of my struggles in delegating or outsourcing work that others could do better than me. It’s definitely time to take act on this.
I am reminded of a beautiful quote by Harvey Mackay:
“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.”
When we are stuck in a downward spiraling loop of self-sabotaging thoughts about our work and life, or even when we are in a good place and want to make it better, it can be liberating to be able to share your thoughts without judgment. Reach out to me (via LinkedIn or email bhavani@evolvingway.com) if you would like a safe space to talk about your work-life alignment.
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